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As I look back on my life,
I wonder where the time has gone.
I feel stagnant.
I lack the ability to trust.
Myself, God.
Will I ever be ready?
For You, for her.
The only thing I can express--
it's not real, it's not love.
Digression. My worst enemy.
I tried so hard to fight it,
to not become like so many.
I did it all with my own strength.
I don't know how to let go,
to give it up.
I had such high hopes, such vast dreams.
I still do.
None of it matters though,
not without You.
But how!? How do I do this!?
Help me to understand how to let go.
I've tried, I've tried, I've tried.
Your turn, but how.

-KLS